Disturbed. Distressed. Tired. Tensed. Frustrated. Fed up. Misunderstood. At times. Mistaken. A lot. Messed up. More than I can clean up. More than I had expected. More than I can handle. An apology for an existence. Like a pebble lying inconspicuously on the road. A stone which does nothing but gather moss. And once in a while, in an uncanny rush of enthusiasm, tries to do something useful, and ends up causing an accident and getting kicked out of the way so that the world can resume its journey in peace. Me = Useless. Waste of space. And there will be no happy ending. Just a lot of 'crashing' and 'burning'.
No expectations. No explanations. No clarifications. Everything has already spiralled way beyond control. Its time she learnt. To shut up. And start keeping her secrets. To herself.
The DQ raised a very good question yesterday. "Why do you hate it so much here?". To which I mumbled some rubbish about the city making me feel unwanted, and out-of-place. But the truth is, I have no answer. I do not know. Why am I such a freaked out psycho? Why am I such a whine? Why do I have an issue with everything? Why do I write such embarrassingly stupid stuff? What exactly is my problem? I have no clue. Like The Dark Lord puts it, they don't teach us all that in JEE coaching classes.
Help. Please.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
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7 comments:
Just so you know.
P.S. We so have to meet.
P.P.S. I love you.
P.P.P.S. Be happy, my favourite fella Dramaqueen!
Yesss. We totally HAVE to. The semester is going to end, I can't believe I have been here for so long, and never managed to see you! Our majors get over on the 25th, and I leave for home on the 1st of Dec, so you tell me when you're free?
PS - I love you too. :)
Why do you feel so awful? Okay, I wont ASK, lets say, don't feel awful. Please.
Because, you're doing pretty good. And things can only improve, after you've managed a whole SEMESTER, right? Muah.
I love you, okay?
Except for your usual evil streak :P
But, cheerrr upp!!
:D
EEE. :)
This is my favourite part, when everybody around you gets so sweet and kind after you've written a particularly sad post, and you get hysterical calls, long emails and such. :P Alrite, a couple of people did neither, but tissokay, like I said, no expectations. :|
And Lasha I looove you too.
<3
And And, Lasha Sherwal sounds so cool, no?
What's with all this "love" abounding?!!
*belch* :P
Anyway, like the song...heard it first in 10th (American Ideal theme!!) :) Brought back the memories of the good old days. Good to see you aren't afraid to use big words (and that too pretty well) in your writing. I stopped doing that after many people complained.
Must. Start. Again.
PS- come to my room sometime, wanna ask you stuff bout what you read, music, etc general chatting session one to one (and not on a screen) :) And I promise I'll try not to rag you.
Arghhh, I said Ideal, AHAHA. Idol, duh.
Must stop multitasking!
Oh, you don't have to get worried. We are "just friends". :P
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