Fantastic 5

#1 Its funny how these tabloid articles with those put-india-tv-to-shame headlines carry stories which end with one same line: When asked to comment on it, *Insert name of person* said, "Its not true!".
Anyway, that doesn't stop me from reading them, I need my daily dose of drama, no?

#2 I got a message from an old friend from an ex-school, which said: "it ws so nice 2 c ur name in toppers list...U R D BEST FRND"

#3 Status message of a facebook 'friend': hey frends who took IIT...plz tell ur results......

#4 "Saand" *the bovine*
- Uz, on being asked what she is reminded of, by the colour red.

#5 Reporter: 'What do you think of Priyanka as a youth icon?'
JEE AIR *** : 'Oh, she's hot'
Reporter: 'Er, I meant Priyanka Gandhi'

KKR will never make it to the semis *sigh* ...

The cousin baby sister's out... *...of the womb, i mean*. EEE. EEE.

I have been forbidden from posting pics, so won't. But its just your loss, 'cause she's the prettiest thing since.. um, me? Sacrilege, no no. Prettiest woman on earth, ok?

The Wizard of Uz has beaten all doubt that she's a girl, she has finally gone ahead and done what she had been threatening to, all these years. She has got a boy-cut! Are you even allowed to do that?! She is seventeen, for God's sake, and born a girl(Don't ask me how, but I do know, for sure). Yet she continues to defy all laws of the sisterhood of um, women. Mental note: Give crash course on feminity before she leaves for college. Now I know why I hear girls in IITs aren't all that eye candy. Its the serious wala I-deny-all-allegiance-with-humankind attitude. Why, oh why. I think I know why. IIT types are supposed to be all sincere and hardworking, and the thing with girls is that, they are victims of certain neurotic social mores which state:
Universal-Nonsensical Laws of Girl Stereotypes -

1.'If you're pretty, you've got to be dumb'.

2.'Either you are dumb, or you're ugly'.

So, we can choose to doll up, or look sincere and hardworking. I am sure its those retarded guys who make up all these stoopid notions. Hell, girls are supposed to be multi-tasking since eternity. Just because them guys cant, doesn't say for the fairer species as well. Its so unfair I never got a wax done, just because I didn't want people to think I was 'waisi'. Yeah, one should not pay heed to what others say, but um, I do. I do care what people think about me. Maybe everyone does, secretly or otherwise. Whatever.

***

Oh, and something I saw on a coffee mug in an Archies outlet - 'If you're beautiful on the outside, nobody will care if you're ugly on the inside'. Heh.

And something I found on the net -


And a few else, I found on www.despair.com

~It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

~It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

~Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

~If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

~If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

~When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

~If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

***

I had a strange dream last night involving me and Shahid Kapur, and Priyanka Chopra, which started with me pleading Priyanka to be boyfriend-girlfriend with Sha, 'cause I was SO unhappy he had been SO unceremoniously dumped by *India's-answer-to-dumbness-personified-Paris-Hilton* Kareena. A lot of chaos later, it ended with Sha professing his love for ME(!!!), and me crying. Weird much. No, I don't crush Sha too. So I fail to find ANY connection with the life-and-times-of-me right now. Anyway, weird, but cute.

***

PS : To both of you, you know who you are, I waited all day just to see if you would call. Thanks for disappointing.

Random-astic

My CompaqKeyboard has the following golden words written on it:

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WARNING

To reduce risk of serious injury, read Safety & Comfort
Guide provided with productand at www.compaq.com/ergo

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Just how can a keyboard be a source of injury, though, is beyond me. Unless of course, somebody intends on falling asleep in front of the PC, and accidentally smacking his face onto this apparent WMD, or then of course, good ol' disconnecting it, and you know, kisi ke sar pe fekna.

*stares at her feet in the awkward silence*

Ok. I thought it was funny.

My two precious followers *beams*(yes I have a new one, apart from the pakka loyalist cuppycake choo-yash!), please don't disown me. Yet.

Tangential Note: The wizard of Uz, my Second Best Friend(this first second third best friend shit makes me feel like a baby, but I have a compulsive need of listing everything), "by mistake" *rolls eyes* deleted the first post of this blog, which somehow feels quite absurd, like wearing a dress without the undies on(!), but I can't do anything about it now, or can I??

-->Does ANYBODY know? Can we get back an old -deleted- post???<-- Passing thought: If while walking with my parents, I were to slip and fall, and yelled fug instead of shit, would they scold me? Being the quintessential good girl has its own demerits, Uz and I get our highs by saying fug in hushed whispers. In private. When nobody's listening. Maybe its the see-I-can-be-a-bad-girl-too thing. Do I talk like some pseudo-angelic-puppy-eyed chika? Its not pseudo darlings, look closely, and you can just catch the halo. Just went through what I had written. Ooh. Meet me at 1 am in the night, and your goldfish will seem to make more sense than I do. But then, my friends say they feel so even during the day...! PS: Yay Vasudha. Everybody hail, the tattletale! I heart your blog, and am excited crazy to have a follower who is not linked to me by blood, bench or bribe. :) Do update, its been eons.

Bulletin Board

Bhai getting married in May. Mom wants me to wear a gown. I detest. It'll be too much of a scandal for the poor Lucknow-ites. Reminds me, Uz wanted me to wear a strapless one(sometimes I wonder if she's straight), which of course, I can't 'cause its going to come crashing down taking with it all my supposed izzat and my 'standing in thee society'(Zoya factor, anyone?). And am already wearing lehengas for two other functions, so leaves me with the national attire, shopping of which I am supposed to do today. Oh, by the way, I fought with my third best friend. Again. And we are not talking. Again. And this "childish" decision was taken by me. Again. I repeat the whole 'Lets not talk' chorus over and over so many times, I wonder if it matters to the Third Best Friend anymore. But whatever, I don't care what the TBF thinks about me. I think. I hope.