Fantastic 5

#1 Its funny how these tabloid articles with those put-india-tv-to-shame headlines carry stories which end with one same line: When asked to comment on it, *Insert name of person* said, "Its not true!".
Anyway, that doesn't stop me from reading them, I need my daily dose of drama, no?

#2 I got a message from an old friend from an ex-school, which said: "it ws so nice 2 c ur name in toppers list...U R D BEST FRND"

#3 Status message of a facebook 'friend': hey frends who took IIT...plz tell ur results......

#4 "Saand" *the bovine*
- Uz, on being asked what she is reminded of, by the colour red.

#5 Reporter: 'What do you think of Priyanka as a youth icon?'
JEE AIR *** : 'Oh, she's hot'
Reporter: 'Er, I meant Priyanka Gandhi'

"You be the prince and I ll be the princess, Its a love story, baby just say yes..."

“I look the same in all my pictures!”, whined Leia. Whining, with her, was not a matter of worry, it was a habit, a way of life. “Maybe its because you’re the same person, baby..” cajoled Nikhil, with ways of life like hers, a life-support was essential. She yelled, and shrieked, and clawed, and purred. He endured with a smile, and an occasional outburst. She was messed up in her own fears and insecurities. He was involved with hers. She threw herself to danger. He protected her like a child. She thought she walked on roses. He made sure it stayed that way. She took him for granted. He took her to the rides.

She was honest, in the sense she paid all her bills, never jumped the red light, never even parked in a bloody no-parking zone. But with her words, one could never say. It was difficult to predict, in any given circumstances, whether she meant what she said, or whether she was showing off her queen-of-sarcasm skills. He thought her eyes would never lie. But she was a quick learner. And had mastered the art of manipulating her still naïve eyes. Maneuvering them around to corroborate her little lies. Arguments. She loved them so. And took care never to lose. Her words were precious to her, she kept them close, never conceding even if she knew she was in the wrong, she had to have the last word. One could not counter her by pointing she had said something contrary a while ago. Her views, as she so often put it, were subject to change. She was whimsical, flimsy, and frivolous, and he loved every part of it. Of her. She was his prized possession.

Living with her was a challenge, for every day he survived, he thought he deserved a job-well-done pat. And he got it. Sharing her life was every bit a reward as it was a task. For him, at least. She wasn’t a difficult person. But when she loved with all her heart, she thought she reserved the right to hate with all of it too. And she had expectations. She was from babble-dom, while he, was a man of few, rather no, words. She would make the droopy face, and move on to her next object of attention, the shinier the better. But it struck him to the core. She never understood why, though she thought she tried. Much. He could predict her next sentence, knew her inside out. She, at times, had no idea who he was. He knew all about her, maybe because she always said so much, describing every minute detail, inventing some, excruciatingly pulled out from her very blonde pensieve. He spoke less, and she wasn’t too good at mind reading. She didn’t know his demons. And she was too absorbed to care. She ranted, he listened. They were happy in their little blind-to-the-world cocoon. But deep down, she knew it wasn’t perfect. She knew she would have to let go. She knew she could still manage. And she knew he couldn’t, and wouldn’t. Let go.

*Random write. Even if you hate it, please don't say it to my face. ;) *

KKR will never make it to the semis *sigh* ...

The cousin baby sister's out... *...of the womb, i mean*. EEE. EEE.

I have been forbidden from posting pics, so won't. But its just your loss, 'cause she's the prettiest thing since.. um, me? Sacrilege, no no. Prettiest woman on earth, ok?

The Wizard of Uz has beaten all doubt that she's a girl, she has finally gone ahead and done what she had been threatening to, all these years. She has got a boy-cut! Are you even allowed to do that?! She is seventeen, for God's sake, and born a girl(Don't ask me how, but I do know, for sure). Yet she continues to defy all laws of the sisterhood of um, women. Mental note: Give crash course on feminity before she leaves for college. Now I know why I hear girls in IITs aren't all that eye candy. Its the serious wala I-deny-all-allegiance-with-humankind attitude. Why, oh why. I think I know why. IIT types are supposed to be all sincere and hardworking, and the thing with girls is that, they are victims of certain neurotic social mores which state:
Universal-Nonsensical Laws of Girl Stereotypes -

1.'If you're pretty, you've got to be dumb'.

2.'Either you are dumb, or you're ugly'.

So, we can choose to doll up, or look sincere and hardworking. I am sure its those retarded guys who make up all these stoopid notions. Hell, girls are supposed to be multi-tasking since eternity. Just because them guys cant, doesn't say for the fairer species as well. Its so unfair I never got a wax done, just because I didn't want people to think I was 'waisi'. Yeah, one should not pay heed to what others say, but um, I do. I do care what people think about me. Maybe everyone does, secretly or otherwise. Whatever.

***

Oh, and something I saw on a coffee mug in an Archies outlet - 'If you're beautiful on the outside, nobody will care if you're ugly on the inside'. Heh.

And something I found on the net -


And a few else, I found on www.despair.com

~It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

~It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

~Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

~If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

~If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

~When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

~If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

***

I had a strange dream last night involving me and Shahid Kapur, and Priyanka Chopra, which started with me pleading Priyanka to be boyfriend-girlfriend with Sha, 'cause I was SO unhappy he had been SO unceremoniously dumped by *India's-answer-to-dumbness-personified-Paris-Hilton* Kareena. A lot of chaos later, it ended with Sha professing his love for ME(!!!), and me crying. Weird much. No, I don't crush Sha too. So I fail to find ANY connection with the life-and-times-of-me right now. Anyway, weird, but cute.

***

PS : To both of you, you know who you are, I waited all day just to see if you would call. Thanks for disappointing.

Before I begin, I HOPE you people have caught on to http://www.fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/, if not, shoo. scat. now.


Which brings me to last night's match between Kolkata Knight Riders and Rajasthan Royals. Lalit Modi, the guy who practically is the Father of The IPL, was seen shouting in the last over "Hope for a bowl-out, guys!". Now, if some random guy-on-the-street said it, it could still make sense, but hasn't it been light years since the bowl-out was replaced with the Super Over, to decide in case of a tie! And This Guy, of all the people, SHOULD know.


Anyway, the drama continued..

Over 19.5 - Ganguly gets out, obviously disappointed
Ganguly: fug, oh fug, fug fug
Camera pans to Shilpa Shetty who obviously has no idea what's going on
Shilpa: Yay. So I can see our players rejoicing. We won kya?
Last Ball. Ishant Sharma grabs a run.
Shane Warne: Get it done with quick, I gotta go home to the chikas.
Ganguly: fug fug
Shilpa Shetty: Somebody tell me what's going on! 20 overs done, why is nobody moving?
KKR manage a measly 15, with RR in, Yusuf hits a couple of sixes
Ganguly: fug fug
Shilpa Shetty: Ah, finally something I understand. A six is good, hai na, Raj?
Match over. RR win.

Then, I was being yelled at, to shut down the TV and let everybody sleep, so I have no idea what happened next. I am sure of one thing though, for the next few days-
Ganguly: fug fug

***

There was a time, when I was around 7, I aspired to be the 'coach of the Indian National Cricket Team'. Me. The epitome of laziness. And yes, am talkin about the men's cricket team. No, not because I had the hots for anybody there, I am not too fond of sports people, they sweat a lot, and smell a lot. Plus, the bunch of guys in the Indian Cricket Team can't frame one proper sentence in English, and THAT is a super turn off. I just thought that the coach's job was to give pep talk, and I believed I was good at that. Anyway I was eight. At eight, I was planning to marry a south Indian ladka so he could cook dosas for me, which evidently, at that point of time, I loved. Also, my other career prospects at various points in time, have widely ranged from a maidservant('cause she was allowed to "play" with water and I wasn't) to um, a Miss India. Now the latter is not a career, but hello, I was 4, and I guess you are allowed to be dumb then. Anyway, what was I saying? Uh, forget it.

***

Oh, and I took this quiz at Facebook which said:
wattt is the best part in your face???! quiz and the result is lips
ha a born good kisser,,obvious..okay yur jus very good at partyin n adjustable,, hav dumb attitude buttt ppl can handle it nott many,,.. anywayyy yur style is simple n yur a born singer,,.. yur lucky colours are,,..peach n pink

Why, oh why do people write like that, I can still tolerate the 'yur's but whattttt innn thee naammme offf thee devilll isss thissss styleee of writingg. Reminded me of those random creeps on orkut, who would go, hiiiii....girlllll...wannnnaaaa fryy withhh meee??...lettt me knowwww...dying for replyyyy.... And I am not joking.

***

PS: Baichung Bhutia reminds me of a crush who's already taken. And so I can't bear to watch Jhalak anymore. Actually, the crush. The one, and the only one. Who seems to have found his One too, but it isn't me. And all my life, I have to live knowing the fact that somebody else is married to my husband. :(

*Last line taken from When Harry Met Sally*

Cheers.

Random-astic

My CompaqKeyboard has the following golden words written on it:

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WARNING

To reduce risk of serious injury, read Safety & Comfort
Guide provided with productand at www.compaq.com/ergo

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Just how can a keyboard be a source of injury, though, is beyond me. Unless of course, somebody intends on falling asleep in front of the PC, and accidentally smacking his face onto this apparent WMD, or then of course, good ol' disconnecting it, and you know, kisi ke sar pe fekna.

*stares at her feet in the awkward silence*

Ok. I thought it was funny.

My two precious followers *beams*(yes I have a new one, apart from the pakka loyalist cuppycake choo-yash!), please don't disown me. Yet.

Tangential Note: The wizard of Uz, my Second Best Friend(this first second third best friend shit makes me feel like a baby, but I have a compulsive need of listing everything), "by mistake" *rolls eyes* deleted the first post of this blog, which somehow feels quite absurd, like wearing a dress without the undies on(!), but I can't do anything about it now, or can I??

-->Does ANYBODY know? Can we get back an old -deleted- post???<-- Passing thought: If while walking with my parents, I were to slip and fall, and yelled fug instead of shit, would they scold me? Being the quintessential good girl has its own demerits, Uz and I get our highs by saying fug in hushed whispers. In private. When nobody's listening. Maybe its the see-I-can-be-a-bad-girl-too thing. Do I talk like some pseudo-angelic-puppy-eyed chika? Its not pseudo darlings, look closely, and you can just catch the halo. Just went through what I had written. Ooh. Meet me at 1 am in the night, and your goldfish will seem to make more sense than I do. But then, my friends say they feel so even during the day...! PS: Yay Vasudha. Everybody hail, the tattletale! I heart your blog, and am excited crazy to have a follower who is not linked to me by blood, bench or bribe. :) Do update, its been eons.

When I post, I do so in pairs

Everybody, and I mean, EVERY BODY, needs to check out this
song!!

Bulletin-II

I got my saree!! Its an orange-and-pale ochre chiffon one, and I think it looks beeyootiful(Of course, that's why I bought it in the first place). But it was fun, the whole shoppin' spree, they always are, but today's was better, with everybody fawning over me as if I was the bride. There's this one guy who drapes anything you even remotely like around you, while the other guy goes 'Didi, ye bahut unique piece hai, aappe khilega'. He even said 'Aapka to safed rang hai, sab jaega'. SAFED?? I am wheatish in kind words, but white?? Hello, even my mother wouldn't say that! And, oh yes, my mum was all 'thoda english colours dikhana, you know, pastels'. Lol, he knows pastels, alright. And as I write this, another War of the Words with the TBF. What is this salty thing on my right cheek? Oops, a tear.